Yeah I fucked up. Most people that know me don't understand that I live life with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, and Panic Disorder. Basically unmedicated I have no drive or sense of feeling towards accomplishing anything. I've been struggling with this for years and when it seems like everything is under control something happens which causes me to go into a downward spiral ending with me either A) "Quitting the band" or B) Ignoring/coming up with excuses not to practice or play shows. The last couple months have been hard for me due to running out of Klonopin which is one of the medications I'm on that fights panic disorder. The cause of that effect was me going into another depression where I wouldn't/didn't do anything and stayed home ignoring how it took a toll on those around me who cared for me. This lead to me ultimately not going to practice and missing a show with no warning towards the rest of the band. Steve and I had a short but meaningful talk which in turn helped me realize how much this band means to me and how much I love being around everyone involved with it. I've been given another chance to prove myself to them and show that this is what I want to do with my life right now besides work and I'm not going to fuck it up. Going into the studio today to start tracking guitars and getting myself back into the loop. I love you guys more than I show it and this band is one of the things that keeps me going.
-Chug
werd up
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